BAM: Oh definitely. Doing skits with Bran and Ryan Dunn was supposed to be in my spare time and skating was all the time. But I see things slowly becoming the opposite. There's times I fly to California just for Jackass or even a movie script.
And no skating?
No man, no time for it, I have all these appointments all day for these random deals. The business side of shit sucks but it needs to be done. If you don't pay attention you could get SWANKED!
So you're not going to pull some Jason Lee type shit are you?
No man, chill, I love skating. I had a boil on my ass from being dirty and it hurt to skate so I made excuses. I'm going to Spain tomorrow to skate, fuckboy. I'm filming for the Adio video. I go to Spain, Miami then I meet Ryan and Bran in LA to see CKY perform.
So you seem pretty busy.
Awww, fuck dude, I don't even want to get into it. It's never been so hectic... I know what I'm going to be doing in September for fuck's sake, a year ago I didn't know what I was going to do tonight! I figured it out, for the next six months I'm going to be in West Chester, PA [Bam's hometown] for less than a month. The money will be nice when I get back but I just bought a new house for me, Jess, April and Phil.
Well what happens to the old house? That house has been in pretty much every skate video and now MTV. Are you just going to sell it to a goddamn stranger?
I think Ryan Dunn and Mark Hanna are going to rent it, but they need one more person. Are you in, Hoof?
Damn, I need a place too.
Then quit being a bitch about it. It'll be perfect. I can go to my old house and chill with Plugs, Hanna and the fucking Knife. It's more than perfect.
How far is the new house to the old house?
Not far at all. It's four minutes in the S4 and six in the A4. It's in Glen Mills in the woods, and it's walking distance to Raab Himself's house.
So what are some upcoming events after this whole Spain, Miami, LA thing?
Well, let's see... I did a few more auditions so if I get any of those then I'll be doing that. Otherwise I'll be going to Tampa Pro, Australia in April and the Tony Hawk tour in May. And somewhere in between all that I'll find a way to fly to Europe at least twice to see HIM perform. Before you ask, HIM is a band from Finland, the name is an abbreviation of His Infernal Majesty, they're the greatest band on earth and they only play in Europe.
What do they sound like?
See, at first some of the songs sounded a bit 80's glam rock so I wasn't sure. I told my girlfriend that there's a certain song that sounds like Depeche Mode with a bit of Bon Jovi mixed in. Then I read an interview of the singer, Ville Valo, and he was describing that same song and said "it's like Depeche Mode meets Bon Jovi" and I was like what the fuck, that's exactly what I said. Then I realized that they are the greatest shit on earth. I've been listening to Razorblade Romance every day for a year and I like it better every time. They have 2 CDs out right now but for some reason I have a CD wallet that fits 24 CDs and 22 of them are HIM and the other 2 are CKY. It's all like shit you can't get, like HIM live in Berlin, Prague, London, blah blah blah. I love it though, I listen to that shit all day. Fuck it, I'm going to play it right now for this shitbag interview.
Don't you have 2 of the same tattoos as him [Ville Valo]?
Yeah, I have an upside down heart on my wrist because it's small and I never got a tattoo before. I was in Maryland at a demo for Element and this guy is talking about how he has a tattoo joint and he'll give me free shit, so I got it. But what I really wanted was a heartagram above myÉ well, above me belly button, so I got it the same day, and my girlfriend got it on her back.
Well what happens if you meet him and he sees them?
Where the fuck have you been? You're one of my best friends and you don't even know shit. I've met him loads of times, I've talked to him about it. He doesn't give a fuck, he thinks it's awesome that someone likes his music that much. My girlfriend said sorry for stealing your tattoos but I would have gotten it first but you beat me to the punch or something along those lines. He said it's not about stealing, it's about sharing. So he's mellow.
Well damn, big time boy, chillin with your favorite band. Who's paying for all these plane tickets?
Well, it's usually Element, MTV or Adio and now I have this credit card that adds on miles to whatever I buy. It's great, thanks to Tony Hawk for that one, he told me it was a must to get the mileage plus credit card.
So are you going to all these random Hollywood parties now?
Well I mean I've been to them but I wouldn't say I'm a fucking local or anything. One time I went to one in New York with Knoxville and that singer named Pink was there and she was freaking out saying we always skated together at Cheapskates back in the day and that her real name is Alicia and she's moving to Santa Monica and building a half pipe. Then she gave me her number, so I'm going to call it soon to see if she gave me the right number, and if she actually wants to skate.
Damn, that's odd... I didn't know Pink was from Philly.
Neither did I.
So are you getting bombarded with phone calls and e-mails?
God damn, it's getting ridiculous, I don't even answer the phone anymore. People find my e-mail address, write to me then call me a dick because I'm not writing back and meanwhile I'm trying to answer 50 letters and I suck at typing so it's frustrating. It's like they think I'm not doing anything on my end, meanwhile all I hear is bling, bling, bling of IM's of people I don't know. One Sunday I took 7 hours out of the day to write some people back through regular mail. I was going to Finland or some shit the next day so I wrote as many letters as I could saying sorry for the short note but I'm going away blah blah, then I threw in some pictures and stickers as well and some fucking cunt wrote back pissed cause I didnŐt write her a legit note and I'm a money hungry prick and so on. I was bummed, man. I should tell that bitch to write to Eminem and wait for a fucking response.
So when you're in West Chester, do you run into like people you went to school with and they're all trying to be your friend now?
Oh yeah, of course, it's getting a little ridiculous actually. Dudes who never even talked to me in school are now seeing me at random clubs or whatever and they're like "Yeah dude! Remember me? Yo! Get me on Jackass, I'll do crazy shit!" and it's just like fuck you man, seriously! Sorry your glory days are over and you're not a top shit basketball fuck anymore and you hang out at a bar all day. Same with teachers though, too. They talk all kinds of shit as well.
What do the teachers say?
Well, there's 2 teachers that I want to diss: Mr Pyle and Mr Nutting of east High School. Mr Pyle told me skateboarding was a fad, and it's going to die down in 2 years and that you can't become anything from it. Okay, Mr Pyle is eating his words right now, and Mr Nutting said the same thing in a different way. I wish I could let them know that quitting school was the best move I ever made... if I would have stayed I would be 2 years behind with all the work I've done so far. No one gives a shit about a high school diploma, and if Mr Pyle and Mr Nutting combined their salaries and times that by 5, it still wouldn't equal what I make so fuck you both.
Is there any teachers you liked in high school?
There was a few. Mr Bertrando was cool cause he never had a negative attitude like those others. All they want you to do is go to college. It's so boring. Everyone goes to college and gets an A. Big deal.
I know, grandparents get so amped on telling people all that!
Yeah, yeah "My granddaughter goes to college and gets A's." Who cares lady. My dad let me do whatever I want and skating came before school. When your parents don't let you do anything and always ground you, it's obvious that when you go off to college you're going to drink and do drugs til the fuckin sun comes up because that's your first taste of freedom, and I had freedom from the beginning, so I have no reasons to do drugs and be bitter and say my parents are dicks, that's all I ever heard. It's bullshit, Hoof! Parents need to open their eyes every once in awhile for fuck's sake!
Damn, you had to get that all out, huh? Feel better?
Yeah, I do actually. This interview is finished and I'm ending it with this: On August 19th, 2001 I'm throwing a big party in Philadelphia and everyone's invited. If you want to know more about it check out the schedule page on Bamargera.com. Now fuck off, Hoof!